I had a counselor that liked to quote me on a particular remark upon the discovery of my husband’s sexual addiction.
“I didn’t sign up for this.”
Looking back at the utterance of my heart it does bring a chuckle and probably the reason my counselor found it so amusing. A manifesto of the human heart truly speaking forth.
You walk into certain life situations that you’ve prepared for. Read the book. Did the series. Bought the DVD. Even went to counseling. Dotted all your i’s and crossed all your t’s. Only to be foiled by some curve ball you weren’t ready for. But if we are brutally honest; one couldn’t be prepared until we have lived it.
Indignant, is what I felt immensely. I, the virgin, walked into this marriage. Waited. Denied what my flesh wanted. Oh yes, I knew he wasn’t. He had told me as much. I even knew that he had a little struggle, but in my ignorance I decided it was due to not having an outlet. Never could my hypothesis been more wrong.
“I didn’t sign up for this.”
Yet here I was in the middle of some deeper abyss despite my good behavior and honor roll performance in my Christian walk. Wasn’t he supposed to save me from my peril and not be the dragon?!
One can go on a tirade of how unfair it is that bad things happen to good people. However, the reality being is we are in a fallen world. Life is life. You can do everything right and everything bear out all wrong, though not of your making.
Real life isn’t about brownie points, getting that gold star, doing the most, achieving so you outrun bad times, etc. etc. etc. The real life is about deciding what to do with what is given to you at a particular moment. Outwardly life can be all wrong, but inwardly it can be overflowing with peace like a river. God holds us responsible for our response and actions.
You may have not signed up for this, but you did say “Yes, Lord.”
What does He ask of you today?
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“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33 (NLT)
Frodo: “I wish none of this had happened.”
Gandalf: “So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.”
tessagroves 